Dear Old Dad
A friend asked me about my father passing some years back...here are my remembrances of that time.
Dad got sick with cancer in July of 1984, I was a 19 year-old kid. He went to work on a Monday morning and called my mom when he got to his office. Dad said he did not know how he got there and did not remember driving to work that day. That was his last day to go to work or drive.
The cancer was so widespread that any treatment wold be useless, and this was the dark ages of the 1980s. Seriously, the chemo or the radiation killed you before the illness did. We sought a second opinion, which confirmed the diagnosis and prognosis, which was not good.
We had Dad at home the whole time, it was a frustrating time, and a fun time as well. It was hard watching him lose his abilities and his mental sharpness. But we got to talk and hang out for a good amount of that period as well. We had started becoming friends before then and this solidified it. Interestingly enough, I have yet to becone friends with my mother. Hmmmm.
As the season turned from summer to fall, Dad started to take a turn for the worse. His suffering was minimal, a few narcotics at the end for pain. For that I am thankful, I could not have stood to see him any worse.
Thinking about this reminds me of Providence in all aspects of life. Two examples I willmention. One being that when Dad got sick, I quit my work at a gas station to help care for him. A former employer asked me to come work for them at this time. They were a business that specialized in home health equipment. Imagine that. I was able to use all kinds of greatequipment at no cost. Second, Dad's very best friend had gone to West Germany for work 2 years previously. Well, in September, Howard had business back here, and they got to spend several days together, talking , praying and being brothers. Interestingly enough, his son and I are still very good friends. Howard died very suddenly 6 years ago this month.
During his final days, we had one last conversation. I told him I loved him, he replied that he loved me, too. That was all we needed to say.
Dad passed away late on a Monday night. He was with family and friends. It was a warm October day when we buried him, the leaves had just started to turn.
After Dad died, my family was never the same. My sisters, all older, were either married or doing their own thing, left me to attend to family matters. Oh, and we all adopted. I guess that helps make things more difficult.
There is no textbook way that families deal with the loss of a parent. It is just a bit of hell we have to go through.
